Travel Blues

Loneliness and Travel

I’ve been doing a lot of things alone lately. Minimizing distractions, moving away, beginning a journey that’s been taking what feels like years to adjust to.

I praise traveling alone. About meeting strangers and becoming familiar. About feeling whole in a place so far from what you’re used to. What I don’t talk about much is the travel blues experienced. Coming back home to daily routines and familiar scenes when all you want is to be gone again.

I crave the feelings I have when I travel because it’s when I feel my most confident. It’s easier to recognize what I’ve accomplished when I’m farther away from my every day. 

The past two months I’ve been in four different countries and countless cities across the United States. Each place fueled me for the future and gave me an appreciation for being able to find serenity in being alone. Longing for moments getting lost on underground transit. Or having no idea what food I just ordered with the menu in what seems like tongues. Cherishing the glances I share with strangers who speak a different language and lead a different life than I. The calm as every moment I spend away gives me a child-like wonder of everything being brand new to my eyes.

Travels like this are the travels I hope everyone feels. The joys of exploring and being immersed in a bubble of untouchable happiness. For even a stomach growling in unknown streets or a quenched throat won’t drop the smile from your lips or awe in your eyes.

However, some days away aren’t always so fulfilling.

Insecurities Heightened

One of the hardest parts while traveling for me is seeing the groups of friends adventuring together. To be completely honest, I’ve never been the person with a large friend group. My circle is small, hand picked, and spread out. I’ve found that choosing a career in travel over college has given me a FOMO that I never got to have those group experiences. 

So I occasionally find myself at pubs in Nashville or New Zealand or wherever I end up that week staring at a group of friends laughing, spiraling in my head about if I had stuck through school and met all these people and…

Delusional.

Forgetting all the while that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be (cue Camp Rock song).

Instagram Quotes Getting a Little Too Real

Recently, I’ve been seeing a lot of quotes on social media saying something along the lines of, “but did you realize you’re currently living at least one of the dreams that you used to dream.” 

I think the visualization of those words brings me back to the reality that it’s okay to miss a version of yourself you could have been. We work so hard for something and then forget to pause and acknowledge when we’re there.

As humans we get so caught up with the next thing that we completely skip over celebrating our milestones. Getting older shouldn’t mean forgetting to make a scene of our accomplishments.

As children, parents made a fuss out of birthday parties, making honor roll, getting the part as an extra in the school play. Every little thing we did was celebrated and made to feel special. So why do we lose that once we grow up as adults? Is it because the weight of comparison feels so much heavier? Or perhaps we space out along the way of trying to figure out what individualizes us in this world of routine.

Four months ago I was finally feeling settled in Washington. I had friends that craved adventure, new activities that fueled my mental and physical health and a work routine that allowed me to build my schedule and connections.

For some reason, I wasn’t fulfilled.

I am now living two states away, traveling the world, and trying to find moments of consistency amidst the reality that I’m constantly hopping time zones.

Reflections

As I’m miles away reflecting the lifestyle I had, I will remember that I am walking the path I laid out in my dreams. My yellow brick road might have some bricks missing, but it gets me to parts of the world I would’ve never been otherwise.

Living this life I have chosen for myself comes with being the empty seat at the table or the constant late response. However, this nomadic life also makes me appreciate the time I do have with my loved ones and my time in general.

Traveling is about connection and experiencing things much greater than yourself, but it’s also about fixing your perspective.

Almost Done With This Rant

Feeling lonely while traveling is part of the journey just as much as appreciating those emotions for what they are and turning it into a way to list things you love about your life in this moment. 

I love that I can start a conversation with people from all different backgrounds.

I love that I can already see the benefits from my dedication.

Most importantly, I love that I can share my journey with others and inspire those who need a push to simply take their next step. 

We all are human and our triumphs look different. That doesn’t mean we should stop celebrating them for what they are and who they make us. 

Looking at my individual journey, I’ll take the life I’ve carefully paved over any sort of settling I would have done in my delusional daydreams.

Life is never going to be easy, but it will always be beautifully yours.

Acknowledge it.

Celebrate it.

Because the people who’ve been following your journey will never let you feel alone.